How to Annoy Teachers - Alec Style
by 1seddiefan
Summary: Alec is a senior in high school; so when he gets bored, he decides to annoy his teachers just to see what will happen. Second chapter is How to Scare Your Subsistutes.


A/N: Since Alec's eighteen, he would be a senior in high school already. I don't know when his birthday is, so I decided to put it in November, so he would be seventeen turning eighteen. Correct me if I'm wrong on Alec's birthday.

This doesn't take place in the List of Things Alec Isn't Allowed to Do universe.

Update: Thanks to a reviewer, I'm changing Alec's birthday to September.

I don't own the Mortal Instruments.

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><p><em>1. Right after a teacher finishes a lecture, when they say 'any questions' raise your hand. When they call on you, ask to go to the restroom.<em>

Alec just slouched in his seat. He was bored in economics, he wasn't paying attention. He was considered a Goth, with the way he wore black clothes and his hair too. He wrote out a bathroom pass and waited for the teacher to finish talking.

"Any questions?" Mrs. Allen asked. Alec raised his hand. "Yes?"

"Can I go to the restroom?" Alec asked.

Mrs. Allen looked at Alec. "I don't know can you?"

Alec stood up from his desk. "Yes, yes I can, watch this." He went to grab the restroom pass and left the classroom.

* * *

><p><em>2. Question the growth of their hair.<em>

Alec had his elbows on the desk, twirling the pencil around.

"Alec." The speech teacher, Mrs. Varner said, knowing that Alec wasn't paying attention.

Alec looked up at his teacher. "How long does it take for your hair to grow that long?"

"What?" Mrs. Varner asked.

"How long does it take for your hair to get that long? I mean my sister's hair takes all summer to get that long." Alec said.

Mrs. Varner and Alec's classmates looked at Alec, really confused.

"What did I do?" Alec asked confused.

* * *

><p><em>3. Knock your text-book off your desk…again…and again…and again.<em>

Alec was in math class, tech math actually. He flunked algebra 2 by never turning in his homework. He slowly nudged his text-book off of his desk. It fell to the ground with a thud.

"Oops." Alec said, causing some stares, as he grabbed the text-book. He turned it to the right page.

Two minutes later there was another thud as they looked towards Alec, who was bending over to grab his text-book.

"Sorry." Alec said, as he flipped to the right page. He knocked it off his desk. "Sorry."

The teacher, Mr. Russo rubbed his head, as Alec continued to knock his text-book off of his desk every two minutes, for two hours straight.

* * *

><p><em>4. Put too many staples in your paper, bonus points if you make a cool design.<em>

There was a line at the desk to staple their current events paper for economics. Alec was last, so he grabbed the stapler. He put one staple in it and then added some more staples in the corner.

"I think that's enough Alec." Mrs. Allen said sternly.

"Fine." Alec said and gave her the paper.

Mrs. Allen looked at the staples. "Seriously Alec? A snowflake?"

"I couldn't figure out how to make a car pattern." Alec said and went to his desk.

"I swear that kid is unstable." Mrs. Allen said to her other student Jacob, who sits next to Alec.

"Sort of." Jacob said and shrugged. "I would still like to know how he ended up with Emma Winters."

Mrs. Allen just nodded, not knowing who Emma Winters is.

* * *

><p><em>5. Keep dropping your pencil on the ground.<em>

He was in art class, this time everything was silent as they worked on their drawings. There was a clatter as Alec dropped his pencil. He grabbed his pencil, have to bend down and hold his desk so he doesn't face plant the floor. He grabbed his pencil and straightened up. He twirled the pencil around and it dropped to the ground.

"Oops." He said and grabbed the pencil again. He straightened up and did a zigzag for his contour drawing and dropped it on the floor. He picked it up.

This went on for fifteen minutes, until the girl Jennifer that sits behind him shouted, "Goddamn it Alec! Hold your pencil tighter! I didn't want to know what color your boxers are!"

* * *

><p><em>6. 'Accidentally' fling your pencil across the room.<em>

He was in his 'advanced foods' class, as he worked on something from the text-book onto a work book.

He wasn't sure if he liked advanced foods or not. He felt dread every time he finished math class, knowing it was coming up.

He finished and was now waiting for his two other teammates to finish. He twirled the pencil around and then threw it into kitchen 6. One boy Colby looked up at him, giving him a 'what the hell' look.

"Sorry. I don't know how that happened." Alec lied and stood up. He walked over and grabbed his pencil.

The next ten minutes later, he swore up and down that he didn't know how his pencil hit the teacher. He got 'in house' which was sort of like lunch detention.

* * *

><p><em>7. When the teacher calls on you shout 'finally' even if you were picked first.<em>

In English class, they were reading Beowulf and taking notes on why Beowulf is a great person and warrior while Grendel wasn't a good person and warrior. Alec couldn't hear the instructions because his parents were too busy talking.

"Wait. What do we do when we're finished?" His partner Gladiz asked.

"I don't know." His parent Ashley said.

Alec raised his hand and waited.

"Yes Alec?" His teacher Mrs. Conn said.

"Finally!" Alec shouted and noticed Gladiz face-palm while trying to head-desk at the same time. "What are we supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to compare why Beowulf is a great person and a great warrior, and why Grendel isn't a good warrior and person." Mrs. Conn said, ignoring Alec's outburst.

"Thank you." Alec said.

* * *

><p><em>8.<em> _Come in late with a grand entrance._

It was Jace's fault that he was late for math. Jace couldn't bother getting out of bed. At least he wasn't late by himself. He blamed Jace for not getting out of bed like their mother said.

So he opened the door, causing heads to turn, which Alec didn't know why. So he settled for saying, "Now introducing the unstable Alec Lightwood."

He heard people call him that. It was a bit annoying.

* * *

><p><em>9. When possible eat loud crunchy food during a dead silent.<em>

Alec had a bag of Hot Cheetos. It was during a silence and he opened the bag, cringing a little when he heard the bag crinkle as he opened it. He was sure that some people were looking at him.

He took two out and ate it. He was sure that it was loud, so he continued eating the chips anyway.

"Who's crunching over there?" Mrs. Allen demanded.

* * *

><p><em>10. Raise your hand. When the teacher calls on you, say you were just stretching. See how many times you can do that before getting yelled at.<em>

Alec raised his hand.

"Yes Alec?" Mrs. Conn said, dreading what's going to happen.

"I was just stretching." Alec said lowering his hand.

She sighed, having heard about Alec's annoying tendencies. She considered switching Alec's classes, so he didn't have her, but couldn't.

A few minutes later Alec's hand was up, his same reply, 'I was just stretching.'

After twenty times he did that, he ended up getting told to do campus beautification.

* * *

><p><em>11. Make basketball shots at the trashcan with every paper you throw away. Works best if you're across the room.<em>

Alec crinkled up the paper he had and threw it across the classroom. It landed perfectly in the trashcan.

"Swish!" Some girl shouted and it caused Mrs. Conn to look up. She narrowed her eyes at Alec.

Alec hated using pen and mess up a sentence. He had to scratch it out and left a big scratch mark on the paper.

He messed it up again, and crinkled up the paper. He threw it across the room. It landed in the trashcan again.

"Swish!" The same girl shouted.

"That's it. If you miss, you'll get detention." Mrs. Conn warned Alec.

He never missed a shot. _No wonder why Coach Gambini tries to get me to try out for basketball. _Alec thought.

* * *

><p><em>12. During a test, look up and shout across the room, "I don't know sign language! Just tell me the answer!"<em>

Alec hated tech math. Even though it was easy math, he still hated math. He was sure people hated math.

He looked across the room, at the posters and the grades stapled to the wall.

He went back to work and looked across the room again.

Mr. Russo was busy updating the grades, but now and then, he looked up to see if someone was using their cell phones.

"I don't know sign language! Just tell me the answer!" Alec shouted.

"That's it! Wait in the hallway!" Mr. Russo said and Alec did just that.

* * *

><p><em>13. Hilarious ring tones.<em>

"I'm a phone, I'm a phone, I'm a phone, I'm a phone and I am ringing." A man said.

Alec looked up at Mrs. Varner, who just looked annoyed.

He didn't say anything.

"I'm a phone, I'm a phone, I'm a phone. I'm a phone and I am ringing." The same man sang.

Alec looked away and back at Mrs. Varner, who was coming at him.

The partner looked at Alec. Alec pressed ignore on the phone and handed it to the teacher.

* * *

><p><em>14. During a silence, rumming loudly through your backpack. Claim you're looking for a pencil. Keep doing this during a silence. For added effect, get angry,<em>

_and dump everything out of your backpack._

The sound of zipping echoed through the art classroom. Mrs. Valentine rolled her eyes. He heard about Alec. All the teachers have.

"Alec. What are you doing?" Mrs. Valentine asked.

"Looking for a pencil." Alec said.

"Okay." Mrs. Valentine said.

"I swore I had one." Alec said.

"Did you check the ground?" Jennifer said.

~!~

Later, there was thuds as Alec dumped his things out of his backpack. A binder, two library books, and two notebooks landed on the floor.

"Where the hell is my pencil?" Alec asked.

"Language." Mrs. Valentine said.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Where the heck is my pencil?" Alec gave her this 'what the hell' look as he said that.

* * *

><p>AN: At my school we stay a certain amount of minutes after class, after going to the restroom.

My teachers always say 'I don't know can you?' when we ask 'can I go to the restroom?' My dad told me to say 'Yes I can, watch this' before leaving because the teachers want us to say 'may I use the restroom'.

I truly don't know what 'in-house' is so I'm guessing it's like a lunch detention because some kids at my school talk about it.

Campus beautification is when we go around campus picking up trash. Obviously.

I never tried any of the above, so I don't know much about the punishments or whatever you end up getting if you actually do that.

Second chapter is called: How to Scare Your Substitute Teachers.


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